May 30th: Just moved to Wichita.... KS. Now this is a city that knows how To live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 2nd degree burns over 60% of my
body.) Missed 2 days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Jerry (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Jerry had swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over the $2,000 leather
upholstery. I told the kids that he ran away. The car now smells like
Kibbles and SHITS. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in
damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down a little, but this freaking
humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.

Aug. 8th: If another wiseass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a dead cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on
the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my
car smells like burnt ass and fried cat.

Aug. 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so $1700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 113 today. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail